Judy Lipson

I am a sister who sadly lost both my sisters. I lost my younger beloved sister Jane died at age 22 in an automobile accident in 1981, and my older beloved sister Margie passed away at age 35 after a 20-year battle with anorexia and bulimia in 1990. I am the sole surviving sibling. As the Founder and Chair of “Celebration of Sisters,” this annual ice skating fundraiser honors and commemorates the lives and memories of my beloved sisters to benefit Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston, MA. The event is scheduled the first Sunday in November as Jane’s birthday was November 6th and Margie’s November 8th. We celebrate all lost siblings, their legacies as they live on in all of us. Since the inception of Celebration of Sisters in 2011, I have embarked on the journey to mourn the losses of my beloved sisters that had been suppressed for 30 years. The process unmistakably the greatest challenging time in my life proved to be the most empowering, enlightening and freeing. Now that I am allowing my sisters and their memories to return to my heart where they truly belong, I am re-discovering myself, happier and more at peace. Ice skating is a sport shared by me and my sisters and a chord throughout my life. It has brought me full circle to pay tribute to my sisters and bring me joy, peace, healing and the recipient of the US Figure Skating 2020 Get Up Award. My memoir Celebration of Sisters: It is Never Too Late To Grieve will be published in December 2021. It is my goal to advocate for sibling loss to insure surviving siblings are neither alone nor forgotten.

Articles:

Where Am I in my Grief Journey?

Where am I in my Grief Journey It’s hard to believe my sister Jane is gone 43 years, and in August, my sister Margie will have been gone for 34 years. In November, Jane would be sixty-five and Margie seventy. I am about to enter my challenging months, although some years harder than others, no rhyme or reason. After thirty years of suppressing my grief, I dug deep and went into heavy therapy, and honored Margie and Jane with Celebration of Sisters, an annual ice-skating fundraiser in a sport we all shared. The fundraiser is on pause, and I may […]

The Gift of Becoming a Grandmother

The Gift of Becoming a Grandmother In June, my youngest grandchild, Madelyn, named for my beloved sister Margie, turned one. Our family gathered to celebrated Madelyn’s first birthday. I am grateful to be “Nini” to three grandchildren–Benji, named for my father will be five in July, and Jake is eighteen months, and Madelyn, one. As I sat in the enclosed playpen area with Madelyn, Benji and Jake beaming watching the new innocent lives, broad smiles, the unconditional love. The seesaw of emotions from the devastating heartbreak of losing two sisters, my anchors, my foundation, the darkness, and now the lightness, […]

Poem Eases Sister’s Pain

After our sister Jane’s death, Margie and I, working long retail hours, did not communicate very often. Although we did not speak about our loss, Margie sent me a poem she’d written. She eloquently expressed her feelings in it. Who has broken into our lives? Who has spoken to our brokenness? Who keeps breaking into our presence? We don’t have all the answers. We do have a lot of questions. We search in a world of bereft. Descent upon our hearts, for we need renewing away. We await your love and power to heal and bless. Refresh us now. Enlighten us […]

Grief and Joy Merge in Love

Grief is Love, Joy is Love What words come to mind when we think of love? I think of emotion, devotion, adoration, and respect. Each person may have their own unique definition of love. I want to speak about love in grief and love in joy, two powerful feelings, and how I came to realize love is the connection to both. For years, the dichotomy in my brain never allowed me to witness the symmetry of grief and joy, and find a place in my heart for both. Grief is Deep Losing my cherished sisters Margie and Jane forever changed […]

Am I a Sibling if my Siblings Have Died?

Am I a Sibling if my Siblings Have Died? “I am the middle of three, and sadly, I lost both my sisters.” This is who I am. As a bereaved sibling, when asked the challenging question, “how many siblings do you have?”, I sometimes hold my breath. I struggle how to answer the question, and often reply, “it’s just me.” Now, after decades of not revealing the truth, I understand that I am forever Judy, the middle sister. This is my identity, past, present, and future. The Siblings The black-and-white photograph of the three Lipson sisters squished together on the […]

Father’s Death Triggers Grief of Sibling-Loss

Father’s Death Triggers Grief My beloved father Benjamin Lipson passed away in 2011, one week before the premiere of Celebration of Sisters, an annual fundraiser to honor my beloved sisters Margie and Jane. Conflicting emotions, breaking heart — and what do I do about the event? Deep down I knew the answer. The event must go on. Thankfully, the first Celebration was not a skating event, so I did not have to perform on the ice. However, I needed to speak. Somehow, I mustered up the courage to honor Margie and Jane. Raw from the loss and touched by the […]

Compassion for Grieving Moms on Mother’s Day

Grieving Moms on Mother’s Day Happy Mother’s Day Month to all the mothers, grandmothers, and great grandmothers. I want to acknowledge and show compassion to those who have lost a child, grandchild, or mother — the grieving moms on Mother’s Day. My wish for you is to find some peace on the day, take some time for you, and know you are not alone. Perhaps there are memories to recall, a new tradition to create, or a space that works for you to be alone. My go-to activity, my meditation, is ice skating. I glide across the ice and troublesome […]

Grief Does Not Define Me

Grief Does Not Define Me When my daughter told me that grief defined me, I felt like I had been punched in my gut. After years of presenting a happy persona, and not talking about my beloved sisters Margie and Jane, I learned that my acting skills would not win an Oscar. Her words forced me to switch the narrative from grief does not define me to grief is a part of me. Losing my two sisters forty-two and thirty-three years ago forever changed my life. This is my life, my story, and embracing this truth has lifted a burden of […]

Gratitude While Grieving

Gratitude While Grieving I do not believe in making New Year’s resolutions, but believe in stating what I am grateful for. After all that we have lost, how are we different today than a year ago? How has our perspective on things changed? And what are we grateful for? In December, we welcomed grandson number two who arrived five weeks early. So grateful he is in good health, home, thriving and has the love of family around him. I recall the birth of grandson number one and how my emotions bubbled up, the contrast of extreme feelings of joy to […]

Speak Their Names

My parents never spoke about my beloved sisters Margie and Jane as the pain too hard for them. I followed their lead and did not mention Margie and Jane. For years when asked how many siblings I had, my breath stopped, and I answered, “Just me.” Tt’s a challenging question for almost all bereaved siblings. Today I state, “I am the middle of three, and sadly, I lost both my sisters.” When Jane died, someone said to me, “There will be a day when you will forget your sister.” For years, this haunted me. I lost memories and squashed any […]

Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.